i remembr the day they told me about the eksperiment. it was like a dream come true. they said i could be smart, like the other guys. for so long, i wanted to be part of the world, to understand things, to have frends. before the surgery, i was just charlie, the guy at the bakery who was always laughing, even when they laughed at me. but deep down, it hurt, being the dumb one, the joke. they’d say i was a “stupid bastard,” but i didn’t fully understand what that meant. i thought they liked me, that we were frends. but they weren’t really laughing with me—they were laughing at me. still, i hoped that if i could be smart, everything would change. i wouldn’t feel alone anymore. i was ready to take the chance.

the surgery is scarry, but i’m full of hope. i feel like a new person, like i’m about to start a new life. at first, nothing happens. i go to work, and the guys are still making fun of me. they joke about how i can’t even stack bread right or sweep the floor without messing it up. it stings more now because i can understand more of what they’re really saying. i keep thinking, when will it change? when will i be like them? but then, after a little while, it starts. the words begin to make sense, and i can read books like i never had before. it’s like the world is finally opening up to me, like a door has been unlocked.

i remember the first book i finish all the way through. it’s about a man traveling the world, seeing places and doing things i never even knew existed. before, i wouldn’t have even thought about reading a book like that. i didn’t know enough to dream about anything bigger than the bakery or the streets i walked every day. but now, i start to see how small my world was, and i want more. i feel this hunger growing inside me, a hunger to know everything, to understand the things that were once beyond me. i finally feel like i’m becoming someone new—someone better.

as i get smarter, though, i start to see how people really saw me before. all those times i thought we were frends, all those times i laughed along, i was just the punchline. i remember every joke, every look they gave me when they thought i didn’t notice. i wasn’t just the slow guy at the bakery. i was the guy they could feel better than. i was their fool. and it hits me, hard. i realize how stupid i was, how blind i was to everything around me. i feel ashamed, and that shame eats at me.

my teacher, miss kinnian, was proud of me. she said i was learning so fast. she would sit with me and talk about ideas and thoughts that made my head spin with joy. i started to understand what it meant to be human, to connect with others on a deeper level. i could talk to people, and they listened. it felt like i was part of something bigger than myself.

but then, things started to change with my frends at the bakery. they used to joke with me, but now they looked at me differently. they seemed to think i was too smart, and it scared them. i tried to show them that i was still me, but they just laughed less and less. i thought getting smart would make them like me more, but it was the opposite. i felt their eyes on me, judging me, and i couldn’t figure out why.

as i got smarter, i also started to feel more alone. the conversations that once felt easy now felt complicated. i realized that intelligence didn’t bring the companionship i craved; it created a wall between me and the people i wanted to connect with. even miss kinnian, who was my friend, started to feel distant. i could see it in her eyes when she looked at me, like she was afraid of what i had become.

one day, while i was working at the bakery, i overheard a couple of guys making fun of me again. they said things like, “Look at Charlie, he thinks he’s better than us now!” I wanted to shout at them, to tell them that i was still the same person inside, but the words got stuck in my throat. It hurt me to hear them say those things. I felt like I was losing my connection to them, and I didn’t know how to bring it back.

then i started to notice Algernon, the mouse. he had been part of the eksperiment too, and at first, he was brilliant. he could navigate through mazes faster than any mouse i had ever seen. But soon, i saw him struggling. he would run in circles, confused, and it broke my heart. i felt a knot in my stomach when i realized that he was losing his intelligence, just like i feared i would.

the doctors had said that the eksperiment was a success, that it was changing lives. but they never talked about what would happen when it wore off. as my mind expanded, i began to fear that i wouldn’t be able to hold onto it forever. I began to understand that what goes up must come down. the Algernon-Gordon Effect, I called it. It was a bitter realization, knowing that the brilliance i had gained could slip away from me, just like it did with Algernon.

i started to document everything, writing down my thoughts and feelings in a journal. i wanted to understand what was happening to me, but the more i learned, the more afraid i became. the knowledge i had was turning into a curse. i could feel myself slipping away, and it hurt to watch. i could hardly concentrate, and the words that used to flow so easily were getting tangled in my mind.

it felt like a heavy fog rolling in. i began to forget things, simple things like how to spell basic words or how to put together sentences. i thought that if i could just write everything down, it would help me hold on to what i had. but instead, my writing became messier and messier.

now everything is going away. i can’t remember the big words anymore. it’s like they were never there. my thoughts are jumbled, and i feel scared all the time. i want to scream, but i can’t find the words. i’m losing what i fought so hard to gain. i don’t know why it’s happening to me.

Algernon is gone now. i feel sad inside. he was my friend, my only friend, and now that he’s not here, i feel so alone. the people at the bakery don’t talk to me. miss kinnian don’t come around anymore. it feels like she’s left me too. maybe she can see what’s happening, and it scares her. it scares me too.

i thought being smart would make me happy. i thought it would help me find frends and love, but all it did was show me how alone i really am. now that i’m losing everything, it’s worse than before. at least when i was dumb, i didn’t know what i was missing.

the eksperiment that was supposed to help me has taken it all away. i feel like i’m falling down, down, down, with nothing to hold on to. every day, it gets harder to remember, and i’m scared. i don’t want to go back to being the way i was, but i can feel it happening.

if you reed this, please remember me. and put some flowers on Algernon’s grave for me. becus he was my only friend, and now he’s gone. i just want to be remembered, to not be alone.